I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize