Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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