You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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