Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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