end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
