yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
