I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Damn victory sex feels great
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