why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
you never un-have a 4some
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
