SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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