they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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