my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Someone came in the potted fern
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
