I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
