I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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