watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
