It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
