Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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