Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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