We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
