I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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