Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
