i just had sex bonerless
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
