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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize