Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
