There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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