party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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