he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
