Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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