Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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