Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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