After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
