Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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