So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
