i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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