Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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