I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
