i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
