I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
