Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
