You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
