I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
