In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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