i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We have started to decorate penises.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
