marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
