A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
