quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
