Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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