I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
