When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
