She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize