we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
