you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Pants are for mortals
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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