you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
