Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
