worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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