Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I deserve this hangover.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
