i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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