In the future we'll all be gay
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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