my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize