idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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