I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
