don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
