Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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