Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
