Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
