i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
