Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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