Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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